So here I am on opening day of BM, sitting in my office. Over the last week I have gone through all of the "ok today I would have flown out, about now I would have been driving through the mountains seeing burner cars packed to the hilt with stuff seeing smiles, hugs, and lots of beautiful people in the rest stops. I would have been very relieved comming around the bend to see the city down on the right not much more than the man, scattered cars and a few structures slowly building. I would have gotten a little laugh as to the hokey ticket takers in black trench coats like some kind of rouge posse protecting the ponderosa. The sadness I would have had at the greeters station when I begged for a spanking but I had already been before, ahhh there's only one first time.

I can only remember how much fun it was to arrive 3 days before the opening bell last year so I could see the playa go from barren waste land to a triving community on the brink of happiness.

and then for the entire week to go by in a flash, but one of the most remarkable flashes ever. I feel a bit empty today. I have sent a few things to the playa to make a few people smile, but although I don't think of myself as selfish, I wonder what will make me smile. I didn't go by choice so I could go on a different adventure in two weeks, but there is still this longing, this empty space in my mind that is lonely without the people, the smell, the taste of what the whole community is about. It has been very enjoyable watching a new generation of virgins get excieted and it only makes my soul hurt more. Saturday night I will be deep in a cave (litterally) but I plan on burning my own little stick man. my rambling is over now, I'm not any better, but hey I am just one man, looking forward to seeing my friends again and going home next year.

Puppy
=:-(